I left the church…but I didn’t leave the Church

Don’t get it twisted!

Basics

Basically, I am not a novice to church etiquette, governance, and organization neither to callings, gifts and offices.  I have been a member, officer (about as many as you can name), and servant in several denominations over the past 53 years! 

As a child, Sunday School, Sunday Morning Worship and during the vacation season, VBS and Baptist Young People Union (BYPU) on Sunday evening, were traditional Christian basics for my sister and I. It was the same for our friends and many close cousins, who we looked forward to seeing every summer at our grandparent’s home in Princess Anne, VA. (now VA Beach, VA.)

Although I was always a very avid reader and curious researcher… I wanted to know WHO was GOD?!  Sunday School cards were helpful because with the cards, I could imagine the lion’s mouth closed because The Almighty God honored Daniel, a praying man!  Even visualizing His children crossing the Red Sea on dry ground as their enemies are drowned in the same sea, stayed with me!  God’s power was always the greatest and He could control anything, anytime, anywhere and anybody!  Watching clouds seemingly move and become extravagant art on a clear blue day was when I concluded…  “There must be a God somewhere!”

 Just as some of you, at the age of 12, my sister and I accepted Jesus or more so became “Members of the Church” at “the mourner’s bench” at the end of a Fall Revival in the Baptist Church. This was getting to be an exciting journey!  This journey and some heartaches and disappointments in marriage, persuaded me to accept the “call of God” upon my life for Ministry.

Because I was in the midst of a time when women were not readily accepted in leadership roles in most ecclesial circles, I continued doing a lot of the same functions; auxiliary Presidents, Missionary, Nursing Home, Young People, etc. and occasionally a speaking engagement.  Little help was given from my Pastors as far as training was concerned.  However, much jealousy was shown.  This became my prayer motivator. Amen!  Around 2003-2004 some classes for ministers had opened up in Baltimore.  The Saturday classes were helpful and I was very excited to see new possibilities and encouraged in the Lord!

Beliefs

I began the ministry, I’LL GO Ministry (2008) with the name the Lord had given me in my home with 8 souls.  Even some ministers in the classes laughed at the name, I was sure it was from the Lord, according to Isaiah 6:8-9.  “Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying:

“Whom shall I send,
And who will go for Us?”

Then I said, “Here am I! Send me.”

⁹ And He said, “Go, and tell this people:

‘Keep on hearing, but do not understand;
Keep on seeing, but do not perceive.’ And

 ¹⁹ Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost:- Mt. 28:19.

I acquired several ministerial degrees later in life.  An Associate Degree in Biblical Studies (2009), Bachelor’s Degree in Biblical Christian Counseling (2010) from a local Bible College & Theological Seminary in the Midwest.  I graduated “summa cum laude” of my class.  In 2012, I completed further  studies to receive a Masters of Divinity Degree, and accepted an Honorary Doctorate of Divinity Degree from Agape Bible College, Jacksonville, NC.  An acquired Master’s Degree in Christian Counseling, was completed in 2016.   

By this time, I was serving under my 7^th Organizational Leader since age 20.  One was ministering under an Ahab and Jezebel spirit and another one under an abusive and adulterous spirit.  I had come thru the Baptist, Methodist, Pentecostal and Apostolic doctrines.  Amazing how all were saying “the body of Christ is ONE BODY”; “Christ wants his BODY UNITED”…We do more dividing ourselves…ourselves!  Case in point…some Pentecostals (Jesus Name Only) do not welcome anyone into fellowship unless they receive their mode of baptism (regeneration baptism) or come in their pulpits, meetings or partake of conferences, unless they are baptized in Jesus Name ONLY!  Later I realized this doctrine was unbiblical and a spirit of separatism surrounded this organization.  Apostolics believe, that an Apostle, the first governing office of the 5-fold Ministry- (Eph.4:11-20)  can erroneously pursue a hierarchy form of government and super rule the churches that are members of that organization, while at the same time they claim they are autonomous!   Result… an abuse of power, a pursuit of power and assigning positions with No POWER!  God help us today!!!

Don’t get it twisted…

Bound for destiny

Help! …is exactly where I found myself in the Fall of 2018.   By the time I and the Presiding Prelate, who is also my Overseer, had returned from a 15 day Mission Trip covering Kenya and Liberia, Africa. I found myself in a state of physical tiredness but blessed to have accomplished the mission as this was my second tour to Africa since 2010.

 A twist ~ On December 5^th, 2018 I was admitted to the hospital as a result of five inches of my colon being removed after being punctured from a colonoscopy procedure! The emotional confusion was hardly any comparison to the physical fatigue.  It was on this Mission dedicated to Kingdom work, witnessing souls surrendering to Christ, baptisms, daily workshops in addition to ordaining 26 Pastors, consecrating a Bishop and two Apostles, that my eyes were opened!  Unknowing to me her secret lover was expected to meet us in Africa! More than that it was a relationship that she had founded and embraced through social media. In addition, funds were being withdrawn from the church account without approval or explanation. Imagine traveling to Africa to do ministry under that kind of spirit!

Our relationship in ministry, prayer partners, family ties and just good friends was gradually severed and painfully separated just as the seven inch long and 2 in. or more deep incision through my abdomen had separated my flesh!  It would be three months before there was a follow up phone call about my health.   BUT GOD….!  Like He did for the prophets of Old…(Ezekiel 4:4-6) “lie down on your left side and place the iniquity of the house of Israel upon it; lie down again, this time on your right side, and bear the sin of the people of Judah.  I have assigned you 40 days, a day for a year.”  He ministered to me while I was on my back!  He had separated (after 12 years) me from that ministry, organization and Leadership!  … That hurts! 

But how many know that the God we serve “knows the end from the beginning; “is a “very present help in the time of need.”  He assures us there is help, safety and care in his abiding Presence!

 He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
² I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress;
My God, in Him I will trust.”

³ Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the ^[a]fowler
And from the perilous pestilence.
⁴ He shall cover you with His feathers,
And under His wings you shall take refuge;
His truth shall be your shield and ^[b]buckler. –Ps. 91-1-4

After conversing with the Overseer in early 2020 and seeing things were getting worse (a totally different spirit was manifesting) painfully I notified them and resigned ALL positions…I left the church, but I didn’t leave the Church!

“I will build my church,” and He promised that His church would not be destroyed (Matthew 16:18),

Jesus Christ promised that He would build His church, and that His church would never be destroyed. But what did He mean when He said “church”? Was He speaking of an organized entity run by bishops, archbishops, and other prelates? Or how has God provided that one may find the true church?

When referring to the people of God, it is used both of the universal assembly, or entire Body of Christ, and each local assembly of believers. When Jesus said He would build His ekklesia (Matthew 16: 18), He was obviously speaking of the universal assembly, which, though scattered throughout the world, is viewed from heaven as a single assembly, all united in Christ and gathered spiritually before the heavenly Throne of Grace.

‘The Chief Corner-Stone’
‘Built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus Himself being the chief corner-stone.’–Eph. 2: 20

You MUST be born again, of the water and the Spirit.  (John 3:3-6; Titus 3:4-7)  Once you accept, (believe in your heart and confess with your mouth Jesus as your Lord and Savior (Rom. 10:9), live all you know to live in holiness, in confessing your habitual sin so that He who is faithful and just will forgive you and cleanse you from all unrighteousness (I John 1:9)…YOU, my Brother and Sister are in the Church, the Body of Christ!

You will surely hear every scripture to convict you by your judges, yet if you take time to review them, they are often used out of context.  Many of the scriptures Paul mentions speak of apostasy (a falling away from that which was previously believed and practiced, specifically doctrinal deception, moral insensitivity and a departure from God’s Truth.)  But note, these immoral, insensitive deceptors were continuing to preach and teach in the church…they didn’t leave!  Beware, less they deceive you and get you twisted…

Prediction of Apostasy Revealed by the Holy Spirit

1  Now the Spirit expressly says that in latter times some will depart from the faith, giving heed to deceiving spirits and doctrines of demons, 2  speaking lies in hypocrisy, having their own conscience seared with a hot iron, 3  forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from foods which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth. 4  For every creature of God is good, and nothing is to be refused if it is received with thanksgiving; 5  for it is sanctified by the word of God and prayer. – I Timothy 4:1-5 NKJV

Paul’s Last Charge to Timothy – Follow the Example

10  But you have carefully followed my doctrine, manner of life, purpose, faith, longsuffering, love, perseverance  … – II Timothy 3:1- 10 KJV

Nowhere does Paul say “they left the church.”  I beg you the difference.  These are they that continue to operate under their disguise as Leaders of the Church but are “wolves in sheep’s clothing” and remain a powerful influence in the Church!  God help us today!!!

7 – Things you can appreciate outside of the church building…

• God can be found outside the walls

• God can speak through anyone and anything  (No one has a monopoly)

• Authentic relationships

People are made in the image of God

The church loves to define who is “in” and who is “out,” usually by an often unspoken set of behavioral expectations that include things like church attendance, not drinking or cursing, putting money in the offerings and generally being a nice person. I call this, “performance-based religion.” Real transformation is an optional extra, but as long as you exhibit the right behaviors, you’re assumed to be “growing in your faith.”  – Really…?

• I’m free from the stigma

Many people carry unhelpful preconceived ideas about church-going people — a lot of them unhelpful.

• I’m helping others rediscover their faith

I have discovered that there are many people like me — former church attendees, who really love the Lord. In fact, according to Barna, most people in the USA who call themselves Christians, no longer regularly attend church.  Many people cannot see that the problem is not with Christ, but with those who purport to represent him.

• I am healing from the hurt

 I was deeply wounded and disappointed from my long association with the institutionalized church that pierced my heart and wounded my spirit.  You know what they will tell you… “get over it!”  The time of struggling and striving to be agreeable and behaving and performing in particular ways to be acceptable, will take its toll on you.  I know God indiscriminately loves me and accepts me!

• Now that I am free from the burden of performance-based religion, I am learning to embrace a far greater truth. I am a beloved child of God — no strings attached.

  More doors are opening for ministry outside the walls, beyond the pulpit, without the hierarchy! Even during the covid-19 virus, The Lord has brought other pastors and leaders and added new friends to the circle of fellowship! My time with Him is even more precious as I learn to hear His voice much clearer than before. Don’t get it twisted!  I still believe in church order and governance and respect for one another, but… It’s not about buildings…it’s about relationship…it’s about making disciples!  Isn’t God good? !!!

  In conclusion, you can try to survive by hosting several pity parties or by holding on to God’s biblical principles…He never fails!  I continue to pray for the Overseer/Pastor…